About 3 years ago I took my daughter, Sara, to Las Vegas for a gymnastics regional that she was in. During the lengthy warmups my wife and I walked down to the Hard Rock Casino and played slot machines. While generously feeding these machines I tipped the waitress a couple of $2 bills. Waitresses in casinos and other places often exclaim at how much they like getting these and how their kids love them. I have tons of $2 bill stories that will make a whole chapter in my book someday. My $2 bills are real and legit but unusual.

These two $2 bills were attached to each other and perforated. You can purchase $1, $2, and now $5 bills from the Bureau of Printing and Engraving on sheets. The sheets come in sizes of 4, 16, and 32 bills each. I buy such sheets of $2 bills. I carry large sheets, folded in my pocket, and sometimes pull out scissors and cut a few off to pay for something in a store. It's just for comedy, as the $2 bills cost nearly $3 each when purchased on sheets. They cost even more at coin stores.

I take the sheets of 4 bills and have a printer, located through friends, gum them into pads, like stationery pads. The printer then perforates them between the bills, so that I can tear a bill or two away. The bills that I'd tipped the waitress came from such a pad.

We went into a room and the door was closed. This young Secret Service agent opened a chrome brief case on the table and pulled out a card. He said that he was going to read my my Miranda rights. Instantly I thought that I could just say "the bills are good and you know it and I'm leaving this bullshit" but then you always have the fear that they'll hold you for being uncooperative. It's hard to separate rights from reality. So I sat still and was read my Miranda rights. He pulled out forms and I thought that it was now going to take 20 minutes.

He asked my for some picture ID. I have some fake photo ID's that a friend made for me years before, when we could make realistic photo ID's from our computers. Almost nobody else could do this because printers weren't good enough. But I had an expensive early generation dye sublimation printer and made some fake ID's for fun. I had one favorite fake ID that I'd used for almost every airplane flight, domestic and international, that I'd taken for many years. It says "Laser Safety Officer" and has a photo of me with an eyepatch.

As I opened my wallet, I considered whether I should risk using this fake ID on the Secret Service. It probably amounted to a real crime. I had my driver's license as well. But you only live once and only a few of us even get a chance like this once in our lives. So I handed him the fake ID. He noted and returned it. The Secret Service took an ID that said "Laser Safety Officer" with a photo of myself wearing an eyepatch.

You can begin to see why many people don't believe this story when I tell it.

To read the complete article, see:
Letters-General Questions Answered (http://archive.woz.org/letters/general/78.html)

To read the complete article, see:
9 amazing things we learned when a 14-year-old interviewed Apple cofounder Steve Wozniak (www.businessinsider.com/how-a-14-year-old-scored-time-with-woz-2015-9)