(phone call)

Do you buy books?

Yes. What do you have?

Reading books.

Reading books?

Yea. Books you read.

Ok. But I am not sure what it is you have.

I just said. Reading books. Do you buy them?

No. Thanks for calling.

____________________________________________________

Are these books old, or do you make them look old?

We have a special spray that makes new books look old and old books look new.

Really?

Yea.

Can I get some?

No, my distributor only sells to book dealers.

____________________________________________________

I am looking for a certain autobiography, but I don't know who the author is. Can you help me?

That might be difficult!

____________________________________________________

(customer standing on top of an old, oak library ladder)

If I was your attorney, I would make you get rid of this ladder.

If you were my attorney, I'd push you off it!

____________________________________________________

Are these books for sale, or do you just collect them?

____________________________________________________

(phone call)

I found a book "---" on your web site. It was written by my Uncle. I was wondering why it is so expensive? ($50)

It was inscribed and signed by him.

Why should I have to pay for his autograph? He's my Uncle, not yours!

(sigh... and no, she didn't buy it)

____________________________________________________

(Older gentleman calls)

I see you have a book titled "---" listed on your web site for $200

Ok

I am the author.

Ok

That book originally sold for under $20

Ok

How can you justify that?

Justify what?

Charging so much!

That's what it's worth. Look it up on Bookfinder

You will make more on the book than I did

I guess I should feel bad about that! If it makes you feel better, you could adjust for inflation (30 years)

It just doesn't seem right

It's the free market at work. You shouldn't have written such a good book

To read the complete article, see:The BookMine - Stupid Quotes(www.bookmine.com/stupid.php)